My best man gave me the bit of his speech that got the biggest laugh as a wedding present. There are so many stories he knows about me that I'm just glad he chose this one, else I'd be single again.
For Father's Day my kids got together and bought me a cartoon of one of my many rants. They thought I'd be embarrassed, but I ended up agreeing with myself. I'm bloody funny.
I don't really exist. But until they have enough customers I'm here to fill the gap. Anyway, I quite like the cartoon they did of me, notwithstanding I'm a figment of their imagination.
It's a good size and really useful for blocking draughts that came through a hole in my garden shed.
Rolf and Theresa
The team gave us a chaotic depiction of them coming to our wedding in Venice. We kept having to put it on our wall when they came round, so in the end we left it there. We're kind of used to it now. And I've got lots of whisky already.
Jancy
They did a really funny and touching pastiche of things my late husband used to say and do. I have it in my bedroom and I'm so familiar with it now that I get cross about him and his bad behaviour whenever I look at it. The bastard.
